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But when it came to telling my friends that he raped me, why did my Indian friends find it so hard to believe a fellow Indian could do what Neil did to me? First-generation Indian kids are constantly walking a tightrope between our Indian heritage and our American identities.

We may not have had to sign up for the arranged marriages of our parents, but we also weren't allowed to date growing up. Those were all perks — privileges to be enjoyed quietly, and never to be abused.

My rapist and I both ran in the same large circle of first-generation Indian kids who tangentially knew each other at UC Berkeley.

Like me, Neil* was one foot in, one foot out of the generally insular Indian scene.

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